My Story (Part 2): Transformation

Recently I posted my testimony about how God delivered me from a spirit of fear. Now, I want to share more about God’s work in my life. 

As is true of all of us, my life has consisted of ups and downs, good times and bad. I became a Christian at the age of nine, and I have always believed my walk with God should define who I was and how I lived. 

At times I was on fire for God. At other times, my relationship with Him grew cold. I am not proud of this. But it is my reality. And I’m not going to pretend I have always been everything I am supposed to be. 

There were times I desired for my life to be anything other than what it was. I compared myself to others and even found myself angrily questioning God about what I considered to be my disappointing life. 

I loved God. I never turned my back on Him and walked away. My relationship with Him just wasn’t always what it should have been. 

A few years ago I was thrilled to remarry after being a widow for seven years. As was true of my first marriage, God gave me a wonderful Christian husband with whom I enjoy serving the Lord. 

But something was missing in my heart. I knew I had drifted from a deep relationship with God, but for some reason I felt unable to change. 

Two years ago, it’s like I woke up. I looked in the mirror. I realized my age, and said to myself, “If I’m ever going to live fully for God, when do I plan to do it? If not now, when? Am I just gonna ride this out until I die? Am I just going to drift into eternity? There is more to life than this!”

So I began to seek God. I immersed myself in the Word and in prayer. I told Him that I knew I was not living the fully dedicated life He wanted me to live, and that I was incapable of changing myself. I needed Him. He was the only one who could do it. I became desperate. 

I placed my life on the altar and told God I wanted to change. I confessed to Him that I did not care enough about other people, but that I wanted to care. I asked Him to give me a caring heart. 

I had gone through much of my life feeling that I was not enough and that if I died I would go to hell. I understand in my mind that it’s not what I do that gets me to heaven. It is what Jesus did. But my heart had difficulty believing. I had doubts that I was really a Christian, and I felt this way on and off for years! 

Sometime after coming to terms with the fact that I needed to change, I asked God to totally transform me. I said, “If I’m not really Your child, make me Your child. If I am Your child, I want reassurance that I am Yours!”

What did God do? He transformed my life!—In a moment my life changed! And I was set free of whatever was causing me to doubt my relationship with God. Since then I have never again feared going to hell.

Was I His child before that? I believe I was. I was being tormented by the enemy and by my own wrong thoughts. But God took me right where I was and gave me what I needed, so that I could live a victorious life!

Am I always on cloud nine? No. Life still has ups and downs. But I have a deeper relationship with God than I have ever known. And I have a calm assurance that I am in His will. I have an abiding peace and the knowledge that when I die I will be with Him!

I asked God for transformation. And I am living proof that if you ask God to change you, and you really mean it, He will do it!

This testimony is my raw reality. This is uncomfortable for me. I don’t like being this vulnerable. But I have been compelled by the Holy Spirit to share where I was and what God did for me. I refuse to let pride keep me from obeying Him. 

It is important that you know my story. Because what God did for me He will also do for you! He cares for you! 

No matter where you are in your walk with God—or even if you haven’t started walking with Him yet—He loves you. He wants to have a personal relationship with you! He wants you to be with Him for all eternity. That’s how much He loves you!

Jesus came to this earth to die a cruel death on the cross to obtain our salvation. He was resurrected from death on the third day so that we could have eternal life. And now He is in heaven where He lives to intercede for us. 

Jesus gave it all for us. And now we need to give our all for Him!

If you don’t know Jesus, call on Him today! He wants to hear from you! He wants to transform your life! His desire is for you to live with Him for all eternity!

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For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (Romans 10:13 NLT)

… anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT)

Invitation to Discipleship

... "Come be my disciple," Jesus said... (Mark 2:14)

What is meant by, “Be my disciple”? What does Jesus want us to do? 

He is saying, “Follow Me. Walk with Me. Listen to Me. Learn from Me. Do what you see Me do.”

Jesus didn’t say, “Go sit on a church pew.” In itself there is nothing wrong with being on a church pew. In church we can hear God’s Word expounded and we can be encouraged in our Christian walk. But there is more to being a disciple of Christ than that. Discipleship involves taking what we have learned with us as we leave the church building, so that we can minister to others. 

We tend to live far from the way Jesus lived. He “went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil.” He wants us to do the same!

Sometimes we get so concerned with our own lives—our own problems, needs and desires—that we forget He wants us to live selflessly, as He did. We are meant to reach out to others with the good news of Christ’s love and forgiveness!

I am so impressed by the fact that those whom Jesus called immediately left what they were doing and followed Him. There was something compelling about Him that caused them to forsake what had previously held their interest so they could wholeheartedly follow Him! 

It seems to me that if we will listen for the voice of Jesus and desire to know Him as He truly is, we will be compelled to forsake all and follow Him with complete devotion. And in doing so we will learn how to care for others and minister to their needs!

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How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.” (Acts 10:38)

Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They immediately left their nets and followed Him. (Matthew 4:19-20) 

My Story (Part 1): God Set Me Free!

An evil spirit spoke audibly to me when I was a young child.

This is my testimony of God’s delivering power!

I was alone in my bed one night when suddenly I heard what sounded like a man’s voice. The voice came from very near me, but I saw no one. I remember being instantly terrified and paralyzed by fear! 

I could not find my voice; I was unable to scream. It was as if I was frozen in place—unable to go to my parents for help and comfort. 

For some reason, I never spoke of that night. It was a mysterious memory that always perplexed me. 

I have only ever been able to recall two of the words that were spoken to me: “timid” and “rabbit.” At the time I wasn’t even sure what the word “timid” meant.

At some point as I grew older, my Mom told me that I had been a friendly and outgoing toddler. I was so friendly that she was concerned that someone would try to take me and I would just go with them without objection. I have no memory of being that friendly child. 

My memories are of a childhood dominated by fear. I was afraid of everyone and everything! 

It is obvious that something happened to that happy, outgoing toddler to cause extreme fear. But I had no comprehension of what had occurred.

As I grew up I believed that I was nothing. I was no one. I felt inferior in almost every way. 

I believed my only redeeming quality was that I was smart. I loved learning and easily earned good grades in my classes. So I did enjoy school, but relationships were difficult, as I always felt I didn’t measure up to others.  

At the age of 17 I was hired by a law firm. During the years I worked there I came out of my shell somewhat because I excelled as a legal secretary. But I believe fear suppressed my real personality. It dogged my every step in life. 

When I was age 27, during a time of intense prayer and fasting, God began a new work in my heart. (I had become a Christian at the age of nine.) One night after several hours of Bible study and prayer, I was in my apartment alone, talking to God as I sat on my bedroom floor. I asked Him a question: “Why have I always been so shy and backward and afraid of everything?”

By the unction of the Holy Spirit, I began to speak in tongues. I had a sudden realization that God was going to answer my question! Then I began to speak the interpretation of the tongues in English. From the first words I knew that I was finally going to understand the night I heard the voice. 

This is the message the Holy Spirit spoke through me:

“When you were a little girl,

only four years old,

an evil spirit spoke to you

and tried to scare you,

and it did.

That evil spirit has been

with you ever since!”

Of course I realized that if the spirit had been with me ever since it was still there! Being made aware of its presence, my immediate reaction was to command it to leave me in the name of Jesus! 

There was no physical wind, but I felt a sensation of wind as the presence fled the room! It was very dramatic. I sat there in shock.

Then, with much rejoicing, I realized that everything had changed. And from that moment to this I have never been the same! 

Have I ever struggled with fear since that night? Yes. When the enemy has been able to harass you for 23 years, he is not going to give up easily. But I have never gone back to the way I was before. And now I am experiencing more freedom from fear than I have ever known!

A few days after my deliverance, upon contemplating what God had revealed to me, I asked Him another question: “What did the evil spirit say to me?” His answer:

“You will be as timid as a rabbit for the rest of your life!” 

Everything became so clear! The evil spirit had placed a curse on me. And then he stayed with me to oversee the fulfillment of the curse!

Thank God for His delivering power! Thank God that He does not leave us as He found us! When we yield to Him, He transforms our lives! 

God delivered me from fear! He rescued me from the power of darkness!

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” (Psalm 40:1-3 NLT)

Hallelujah! 

Lord, thank You for setting me free! 

My friend, whatever you are struggling with, let me tell you—God wants to set you free, and He has the power to do it! Call on Him and He will transform your life!

Sharing My Story . . .

In a few days, I’m going to post a story—my story. It’s something I should have done a long time ago.

What has held me back? —Wondering what people might think. Concern that some would doubt the truth of it, would believe I just made it up, that I just want attention. 

My motivation for posting my story is to obey God. He has been speaking to me for months, saying, “Tell the story.” At first I was truly unsure what He was referring to, but as time went on it became clear. —Oh, that story!

My story is a testimony of God’s delivering power. I have been a Christian since I was nine years old, but I desperately needed help with something that had troubled me since I was a child. And God came through for me when I was 27 years old.  

I am now in my 60s and have shared this testimony with only a few people. So now I am obeying God. I am in the process of writing my story. 

I actually began to type it this past Sunday evening. The next morning, I went to a friend’s page that I visit often. Her Monday post began this way: “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story…” — Psalm 107:2. I highly recommend her writings. You can find her on Facebook: Crystal Gilpin Jones.

After reading her post I am even more convinced that it's time to tell what happened and how God delivered me. 

I will be sharing my story soon…

God Our Deliverer

I will live among the people of Israel and be their God, and they will know that I am the Lord their God. I am the one who brought them out of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the Lord their God (Exodus 29:45 NLT). 

In the above scripture we are reminded of the deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt—and that God lived among them. This is not a fairy tale. This happened to real people. The accounts in the Bible are there to encourage us that what God did for His people then, He will still do for us today.

Egypt was a place where the Israelites were in bondage. They were enslaved. God wanted them to have freedom, and He provided it for them! 

They followed God’s plan. He set them free! And they walked out of bondage!

If you will invite Him into your life, He can bring you out of the “Egypt” you are living in. His desire is to deliver you from every sin and weight that is making your life miserable. 

Satan is the ruler of the darkness, and he has so many people bound there. God is light, and in Him there is no darkness (1 John 1:5). He wants to deliver you from the power of darkness and transfer you into His Kingdom of light—the Kingdom of His dear Son!

How is this accomplished? You simply talk to God. You tell Jesus you believe in the sacrifice of His life on the cross and in His resurrection. You repent, which means you make a decision to go the opposite direction from the way you are walking now. Submit your will to His, asking Him to take control of every aspect of Your life. 

If you sincerely ask Him to do that, He will transform you! How do I know this? Because His Word says that He will. And I know this personally. He did it for me! 

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For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. (Colossians 1:13-14 NLT)

Tabernacles of His Presence

"I want the people of Israel to build me a sacred residence where I can live among them” (Exodus 25:8 NLT).

God didn’t call out a people to make them His own so He could just leave them alone. His purpose was that He would live among them. His desire was for the nation of Israel to build a tabernacle for His presence and to become a witness to the other nations of the power and glory of His name. 

The same is true of God’s church today. As members of the body of Christ, we are called to be His dwelling place, housing the very presence of the Holy Spirit and being witnesses to the world of His grace and power.  

Upon receiving the gift of the indwelling Spirit, He teaches us how to be Christ’s representatives on the earth. As we obey His voice we become more like Christ. We learn to be witnesses to those who don’t know Him, introducing them to Jesus so that He can transform their lives. 

I’m not talking about religion. There are many religious paths in the world, but having a relationship with Jesus is the only way to the one true God.

God our Creator wants to have a loving relationship with each one of us. That is the reason He sent His Son to die for all. He will dwell within those who are willing to submit their lives to Him!

My desire is to continually live a life of obedience to the One who has taken up residence within me, and to be a witness to the world of the love and power of Christ!

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In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit (Ephesians 2:22 ESV). 

Audience of One

As children of God, we live to please an audience of One. It doesn’t matter whether or not we receive accolades from people. The One we live to please is above all. And His opinion is the most important. 

Sometimes when we don’t receive the attention our flesh longs for, we feel slighted. We believe others think we are unimportant. But we serve a God who sent His Son to die for us. We are not unimportant! 

My friend, if you have made Jesus the Lord of your life and you are living in obedience to Him, then go forward doing His will without worrying about the opinions of those around you. 

Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Listen for His Voice. Obey Him! Do His will as He reveals it to you! 

After our time here is done and we hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” the negative words and opinions spoken over us on this earth will be forgotten! (See Matthew 25:21.)

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I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart. (Psalm 40:8)