As is true of all of us, my life has consisted of ups and downs, good times and bad. I became a Christian at the age of nine, and I have always believed my walk with God should define who I was and how I lived.
At times I was on fire for God. At other times, my relationship with Him grew cold. I am not proud of this. But it is my reality. And I’m not going to pretend I have always been everything I am supposed to be.
There were times I desired for my life to be anything other than what it was. I compared myself to others and even found myself angrily questioning God about what I considered to be my disappointing life.
I loved God. I never turned my back on Him and walked away. My relationship with Him just wasn’t always what it should have been.
A few years ago I was thrilled to remarry after being a widow for seven years. As was true of my first marriage, God gave me a wonderful Christian husband with whom I enjoy serving the Lord.
But something was missing in my heart. I knew I had drifted from a deep relationship with God, but for some reason I felt unable to change.
Two years ago, it’s like I woke up. I looked in the mirror. I realized my age, and said to myself, “If I’m ever going to live fully for God, when do I plan to do it? If not now, when? Am I just gonna ride this out until I die? Am I just going to drift into eternity? There is more to life than this!”
So I began to seek God. I immersed myself in the Word and in prayer. I told Him that I knew I was not living the fully dedicated life He wanted me to live, and that I was incapable of changing myself. I needed Him. He was the only one who could do it. I became desperate.
I placed my life on the altar and told God I wanted to change. I confessed to Him that I did not care enough about other people, but that I wanted to care. I asked Him to give me a caring heart.
I had gone through much of my life feeling that I was not enough and that if I died I would go to hell. I understand in my mind that it’s not what I do that gets me to heaven. It is what Jesus did. But my heart had difficulty believing. I had doubts that I was really a Christian, and I felt this way on and off for years!
Sometime after coming to terms with the fact that I needed to change, I asked God to totally transform me. I said, “If I’m not really Your child, make me Your child. If I am Your child, I want reassurance that I am Yours!”
What did God do? He transformed my life!—In a moment my life changed! And I was set free of whatever was causing me to doubt my relationship with God. Since then I have never again feared going to hell.
Was I His child before that? I believe I was. I was being tormented by the enemy and by my own wrong thoughts. But God took me right where I was and gave me what I needed, so that I could live a victorious life!
Am I always on cloud nine? No. Life still has ups and downs. But I have a deeper relationship with God than I have ever known. And I have a calm assurance that I am in His will. I have an abiding peace and the knowledge that when I die I will be with Him!
I asked God for transformation. And I am living proof that if you ask God to change you, and you really mean it, He will do it!
This testimony is my raw reality. This is uncomfortable for me. I don’t like being this vulnerable. But I have been compelled by the Holy Spirit to share where I was and what God did for me. I refuse to let pride keep me from obeying Him.
It is important that you know my story. Because what God did for me He will also do for you! He cares for you!
No matter where you are in your walk with God—or even if you haven’t started walking with Him yet—He loves you. He wants to have a personal relationship with you! He wants you to be with Him for all eternity. That’s how much He loves you!
Jesus came to this earth to die a cruel death on the cross to obtain our salvation. He was resurrected from death on the third day so that we could have eternal life. And now He is in heaven where He lives to intercede for us.
Jesus gave it all for us. And now we need to give our all for Him!
If you don’t know Jesus, call on Him today! He wants to hear from you! He wants to transform your life! His desire is for you to live with Him for all eternity!
_______________
For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (Romans 10:13 NLT)
… anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT)
No comments:
Post a Comment