Lord, Draw Us Near

Since the loss of my husband over six years ago there has not been a day that I haven’t thought about him and missed him. The passage of time has eased the pain, but there are moments when I inexplicably miss him as though the loss just happened. I am thankful that those moments have become less often. 

Now, as all of us are going through a worldwide pandemic, I feel the loss of my husband keenly. I am finding how much I need to depend on the Lord. My trust in Him has not been perfected, and I will admit there are times I become overwhelmed with fear. 

I sense the Lord calling me to press into Him and His Word with a greater intensity. I believe that as we commit our lives to God and trust Him, He will use this very trying time to draw us into a deeper relationship with Him. I am convinced some good will come from this!

Sometimes we are guilty of having things in our lives to which we give a higher priority than we should. When those things are taken from us, we will come to the realization that what we have left is so much more important. As we refocus on our relationship with God, our spiritual lives will flourish and our love for those around us will grow. Reaching out to others with the love of God will become a higher priority, rather than the fulfillment of our own desires.

God help us to trust You and live to please You even in this difficult season. Let our hearts burn with an intense passion to reach lost souls. Help us to be ever mindful that the coming of the Lord is near and now is not the time to waver.

This Fleeting Life

Today it has been five years since my husband went to heaven. Sometimes it seems so long ago. Other times the grief is so fresh and raw it feels as if it happened yesterday.

From the beginning of our relationship Wayne and I found it easy to talk to each other. We almost always got along well. Of course, we had our moments of disagreement as all couples do, but it truly seemed we were made for each other. I have no doubt that God brought us together.

While I don’t understand why our life together was so short, I still thank God for the time that we had. I miss him every day. 

I encourage you to hug your loved ones. Hold them tightly and tell them how much you love them. Life is fleeting. Make the most of every moment.

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What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14)

God Walks With Me Through Darkness

I wrote this blog while going through a very dark season a few years ago, but at the time I was reluctant to make public what was happening in my life. I feel prompted by the Lord to share it now….

My husband went to heaven in January 2014. About a week before his death, the Lord spoke to me, “I will walk with you through darkness.” At that moment, I knew in my heart what was ahead, but it was so hard to accept. The thought of losing my husband was unbearable. My mind and heart screamed, “No! I don’t want to walk through darkness!” 

It was after Wayne’s passing that I was advised by a godly man whom I trust to look at the positive aspect of that statement: Even though I must walk through darkness, I don’t have to walk alone. God said He would be with me. He would walk with me. He is walking with me. 

The darkness is not where I want to be, but here I am. I no longer have my husband by my side. And I find myself still questioning why God allowed it to happen. Now, I have accepted a new position and have moved away from everything familiar to me. I firmly believe I am in God’s will. In my spirit, I am assured that this is where I am supposed to be.

I came here for a “new beginning.” I thought I was going to walk out of darkness. But [in September 2015] three months after my move, I was told the same words that my husband heard four years earlier: “You have cancer.” My world crashed. My first thoughts were of my [then] 18-year-old daughter. How could this be happening so soon after my husband’s death? It was bewildering and devastating. I guess I somehow thought I was immune. Statistics tell us one in three will get cancer. The disease took my husband, Bethany’s father, and it was unfathomable that the same thing was happening to me. It has been difficult to comprehend that I must now fight this disease. It’s hard. It’s discouraging. It’s sometimes depressing. And I find myself further questioning my Father. 

Then I remember, God never said life would be easy. He never told us we wouldn’t suffer. In fact, He said the opposite. But we don’t want to face the difficulties of life. We want everything to fall into place according to our dreams and plans. Often, life takes a different direction than we expected. Through all of this, I somehow have to learn to trust that God can take this hard, discouraging thing and turn it into something good. He is still walking with me. He’s still working in my life. He hasn’t left me. His Word promises He will never forsake me. His desire is for me to submit to His will and let Him do in my heart what He wants to do.  

I have to remember, it’s not about me. It’s all about Him. It’s about Christ and what He did for lost humanity. He suffered and died so that those who will accept His sacrifice can live eternally with Him. It’s about getting that message to those who need to hear of His love. That’s what is important. Not how sick I am. Or how long I have left to live. While I know that God heals, I also know that none of us has promise of tomorrow. Any one of us could breathe our last breath today and step into eternity. The most important decision you can make, while you still have breath in your body, is to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and commit your life to Him. 

I am so thankful that, though I walk through the darkness, God is with me. I can’t imagine facing the troubles of life without His guiding hand. More importantly, I am assured that His presence will be with me when the time comes for me to walk from this life into the next.

So, I place my hand in the hand of my Father and continue to walk, trusting Him to lead me according to His plan, and believing that I will walk out of the darkness with Him by my side.

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Psalm 23 (NKJV)

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

A Step of Faith

After receiving an offer for a new job that would require a move to another state, I sought the Lord and asked Him to show me His will. After three days I believed I heard from Him that the answer was “yes.” I made the decision to leave my job and make the move.  

One thing that stood in my way was the fact that I had just signed another one-year lease on my apartment. I was told by the leasing company that I would not be released from the contract until someone rented it. But I really believed that the move was God’s will. So I took a step of faith and answered “yes” that I would take the position. The next morning as I awoke the Lord spoke these words to me: “Watch Me work.” 

My friend Wendy had compiled a list of apartment complexes for me to visit, and she took me to them the day after I arrived. After visiting six places, we went back to the second one and I completed an application. I signed a lease for the new apartment on June 29 and moved in on July 11. I love my new home! 

Even though I believed I had heard from God that the move was in His will, it was a big step to sign a new lease when I was still under the obligation of the old one. 

Today (July 28) I received official notification that my previous apartment has been rented, and I will have no further obligations to the leasing company!

God is so good! And I have watched Him work! I am thankful that we can stand on God's promises and make decisions that sometimes defy logic, knowing that He has everything under control and that He will fulfill what He said He would do!

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Your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) 

When the Father Says "Wait"

I am in a season of life I never wanted. On your wedding day, you say the words "until death do us part." But you hope it won't happen until you've spent many years together and you are old and gray.

I have had much turmoil in my heart as I have fought with God for answers. I've asked all the questions. "Why? Is this my fault? Did I do something wrong? Are You punishing me? Why are You angry with me? Why are all of these other couples growing old together, and I have lost my husband?" I've been angry. I hate to admit, there have been periods of time I would hardly speak to my Father. But He held onto me. He didn't give me answers. But He lovingly and gently brought me back.

From the beginning of this season, a word I have continually heard in my spirit is, "Wait." I sensed that everything I did, every decision I made, God wanted me to take my time, not rush. And I have had many decisions to make. So I have endeavored to remain calm and take one step at a time.

Even though God spoke to me, and I knew He had His hand on me, at the same time I have been unsettled, agitated, worried; because if you have a good marriage to a man you love and then you lose him, you don't want to be alone. And while grieving for Wayne, I have been taunted and haunted by thoughts of spending the rest of my life alone and wondering what the future holds. But God is gracious, and He has helped me--through His Word, through the advice of friends, and through books, songs, sermons and prayers--to gain a measure of peace. He has spoken to my storm and calmed me. I finally came to a point of surrender where I could honestly say, "Lord, not my will, but Yours be done. I want to be an instrument in Your Hands. I want to live my life as You would have me to, doing what You have placed in my heart to do. And I will follow Your plan whatever that is." It is tremendously freeing to finally come to that place.

I know there are still rough days ahead. I also know that God my Father cares. And He is still speaking to me, "Wait." He wants me to wait while He works in my heart and prepares me for the next season. So, I will continue in this season of waiting. 

Lord, I submit to the working of Your Spirit. Do a work in me that only You can do.

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Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! (Psalm 27:14, NKJV)

Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. (Psalm 33:20, NKJV)

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31, NKJV)

God Finishes What He Starts

Do you have half-finished projects in your life? Those things that you started with such enthusiasm, and for whatever reason somewhere along the way you lost your drive to bring to completion. I believe we have all been in that situation. It can be disheartening to see something you started that you were excited about, but then for some reason you just didn’t follow through. Maybe you got busy with something else, some other project distracted you, and you left thinking “I’ll get back to this later.” And then you never did.

I am so thankful that when God works on the “project” of our lives He doesn’t stop before it is finished. Philippians 1:6 tells us, “. . . he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” That is such an encouraging verse! When you feel that your life is just not the way you want it to be, remember that as long as you are living for Him, God is working on you. He has a plan. He wants you to seek His face and find out what that plan is. And He wants to complete it. I love the children’s song, He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be. He’s still working on me.*

So, be encouraged! If you haven’t already done so, submit your life to God. If you have, but you’ve gotten distracted, get back on track and ask God to show you what He wants for your life. Tell Him you want Him in the driver’s seat. I believe you will be amazed at the work He will complete in your life!

*He’s Still Working On Me, Joel Hemphill

Copying the Master

Recently at work I received a request to send out an application for one of our ministry training programs. When I opened the file in which I keep the forms, I had only one left—the original. To keep me from sending my original form, I had attached at the front of it a note on which I had written the word “Master.” When I saw the note, I was reminded that the Word tells us Jesus is our Master.  I was using the master form to make a copy, and we are to be “copies” of the Master.

Just as a copy printed from a copy machine will never be the quality of the original, in our humanity we can never be exactly like Jesus. But the Word instructs us that we are to endeavor to be like Him. Oh, how different life would be if all of us who are believers would live as a copy of Jesus in this world! That is the reason we are left here after salvation. We are Christ’s representatives on this earth living to do His work and accomplish His will.

WWJD bracelets have been popular among believers. These initials represent the question, “What Would Jesus Do?” In every circumstance of our lives, these are the questions we need to ask ourselves: “What would Jesus do? How would He respond? What attitude would He have? What action would He take?” And then we are to behave in the same manner. Everything Jesus did while on this earth He did from the motivation of love. We as His followers are to do the same. Our actions should always show forth the love of Christ.

Jesus came to this earth to love and to give. He loved humanity enough to give His life. He is asking us to also love humanity and to give ourselves to the task of bringing as many as we can to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ!
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And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:17, NLT)